My alarm went off at 3.30am. I got dressed and went out and tagged along with the procession of half-asleep travellers crowded into tuk-tuks or furiously pedalling unlit hire bikes through the crepuscular gloom. At Angkor Wat, the hawkers were patrolling the car park with torches,
“You wan’ coffee-breakfast?”
“Not now, thanks.”
I joined the concert crowd assembling in front of the temple and sat and waited with increasing impatience for an hour or so until the sun struggled over the horizon. Is that it? I thought and went to get coffee-breakfast.
It occurred to me later that I had seen dozens of landmarks, just as iconic, but had never before felt the need to get up in the middle of the night and watch the sun rise behind them. But it had never before been a Thing You Must Do before You Die.
It is always a must: a sternly-worded injunction, a must try … do not miss … essential … cannot leave without: never a friendly, you could do this if you want. It is like working for a manager proud of being difficult.
I have been white water rafting, but that was in Thailand which doesn’t seem to count. You have to raft the Lower Zambezi or nothing. I have been to Ibiza several times – I was there for the openings once – but I have never been to a closing party, and that is all the authors of bucket lists recognise. I am not doing very well.
SONY DSC
I have no chance of getting to all of the 1000 places in Patricia Schultz’s book, especially if I have to find time to read the 1001 books and see the 1001 movies listed in the Quintessence Editions. And I have not even looked at 1001 Foods You Must Taste Before You Before You Die. There are still things outstanding which I should have done before I was 25.
Come to think of it, though, it is hard to see how any one person will ever do all the things which routinely appear on bucket lists. The sort who dream of making a million, meeting the president and having things named after themselves are never going to live out of a van.
Someone putting in the work to get a book published and have an artwork in an exhibition, while becoming fluent in a foreign language, inventing something and running his or her own business, will not have the time to visit every country in the world. He or she will be hard pressed to fit in milking a cow and skinny dipping at midnight.
In truth, I am not fussed if I never see A Clockwork Orange, and I have wrestled with Finnegans Wake before and been beaten and I am not likely to try again, and while I had the chance to go to the Golden Triangle when I was in Southeast Asia, I decided not to bother.
I have no intention of doing a runner from a fancy restaurant, I am happy to pay for my food; and I certainly do not want to get arrested. I cannot see the point of shouting “the drinks are on me” in a crowded bar, even if (which I don’t) you have pots of money; and I am not sure there is anything to forgive my parents for.
There are, as well, a load of things I have done and want to do which I have never seen on any bucket list but which will stay in my memory long after that early morning at Angkor Wat has faded.
So when I went to Peru and they told me I had to see Machu Picchu at sunrise, I ignored them and spent longer in bed.
(c) Richard Senior 2014
beats the office 
I never saw the appeal of others’ imposed bucket lists. Somebody else tells you what you MUST do as a life experience on the basis of the transient popularity of something in pop culture? What if it doesn’t appeal? Surely it’s a personal choice as to what validates ambition and what an individual finds interesting or exciting to do. For some, as you say, it’s intangible.
Agreed 🙂
I agree with you. Going somewhere or doing something because it is on some bucket list is unlikely to result in much self satisfaction. When I get to a new place, I set myself a task: find the best apfelstrudel in Austria; search out street markets in Latin America and buy a print from a struggling artist; board the city bus early on a Sunday morning and get off and back on at each park the bus comes to until you get back to your starting point – whose statues did you see in the parks and what do they mean for local history? You get a lot more out of travel this way than by measuring your journey against somebody’s made-up bucket list.
Agreed 🙂
The part about the bus and parks until you come back goes on my bucket list 😛 But I totally agree. Recently I bought such a book on a whim. It also states I have to buy the whole bar a drink, but its just a funny read and if you’re lucky it can inspire you to take a leap and see wtf happens 😉
Very good! Enjoyed it
Thank you 🙂
Your welcome! 🙂
Good post. So we’re certain you don’t have a personal bucket list? 😉
I don’t care about other people’s bucket list of travel spots. And nor do I keep one myself. “Travel” and learning is relative. I’m willing to bet some people don’t know whole neighbourhoods in their own city and the residents in that area…. Lots to learn also.
Thank you 🙂 Agreed
How immensely sensible! A bucket list is by nature a perfectly personal thing. Thanks for the reminder that someone else’s “should” and “must” are just suggestions for your own list.
Thank you 🙂 Agreed
Maybe it’s getting right on the inside that makes life worth living. Being able to enjoy the simple things, rather imposing ideals on ourselves. That type of expectations is draining. And your right there’s no way we can do it all.
Agreed. “Enjoy the little things,” Robert Brault said “for one day you may look back and realise they were the big things”.
Was just at Angkor Wat, luckily with a friend who had already done the sunrise -million-people-crush thing and advised against it. I did have a fun time eating a fried grasshopper in Utrecht last month (was rather surprised, but game myself). Surely not on anyone’s bucket list. Which makes me think perhaps anything on a bucket list is best avoided.
Cool. I’ve never eaten a grasshopper but I had mopane worms in Zimbabwe
Can i just say this post and your comment are making me more settled with my choice. I opted out of the waking up at crazy hours to see a sunrise. I thought I’d missed out. No one is the company that went has been this honest and the guide was quite insistent on it and seemed disappointed that I hadn’t went.
Great. I think when people get up at that time to see something they feel they have to big it up
It seems to me that the person who gets indescribable joy out of whatever they’re experiencing is the winner.
I’ve heard sounds so sweet, it made my eyes tear up. I’ve laughed so hard with fellow travelers, we nearly peed ourselves. I’ve seen beauty that could melt your cheeks. I’ve never been outside of the U.S. Doesn’t matter.
I am hyper-aware and deeply sensitive and I move carefully through the world, soaking up everything around me, looking out for the good and absorbing the warmth. I’m also an adrenaline junkie who tries weird food, picks up snakes, and climbs stuff because it’s there.
I kind of pity people who can’t taste life’s smorgasbord. It’s all there, man, and for the most part, it’s free.
What a great outlook. I do the weird food and climbing stuff but I couldn’t pick up a snake
Thanks, my philosophy has worked pretty well so far. The snakes seem to like it: zero bites.
Reblogged this on Hamnishe.
Thanks for sharing 🙂
I dont understand how people can follow published bucket lists, surely the whole point of a bucket list is that its personal? It’s my life and death, I’d like to live it my way thank you very much.
Agreed. You can get ideas from the best of them but everyone has a different set of goals, interests, likes and dislikes
It’s not just bucket lists; I’m tired of the whole notion of “must-see” travel guides. That’s my biggest travel writing pet peeve. Could I have lived my entire life without seeing the Mona Lisa? Of course I could have. Often I think the personal, more organic experiences of travel get ignored so that the masses can have a “must see” moment.
Totally agree. I’m sick of being lectured to by self-styled experts who forget that everyone is different and travel is supposed to be enjoyable. I often get much more out of everyday things which are never going to be on a must see list
I’ve put this on my Must Read list!
… did I err?
LOL
Most enjoyable to read, had a giggle! Thanks
Thank you 😊
We had an interesting conversation about holidays at dinner last night. Our son said, “Why do we have to go so far? Have you ever been to Tineo?” That’s a mountain village about 40 km from here. That was point one.
Our daughter said, “If we you are going to America, you should at least let me plan it for you. I can make an itinerary so you don’t miss anything important.” That was point two.
I said, “That’s not my kind of travel. I’d rather take things as they come without planning and do something unexpected.”
But I can do that at home just as easily, like walking to places you normally go in the car, or talking to strangers on the street, or dressing up differently to go out, or looking at the tourist information for my home town.
Bucket lists-no thanks.
I love to travel like that. It’s a bit too much like work when you’re storming around with a to do list.
Reblogged this on aswilliams11.
Thanks for sharing 😊
Has even Patricia Shultz been to all 1000 Places to See Before You Die which she lists in her own book? Page 179 impels us all to visit Mount Athos in Greece, noting “Women … have not been allowed to set foot in this … monastic state since the 11th century.”
Er Schultz not Shultz!
Haha. Excellent point
I think it’s better if you would follow your own bucket list so you can avoid the feeling of “must do.” like someone commanding you to do someone. If you write your own bucket list it would feel like you are doing it for fun, because you want it.
I agree, although too many people just copy and paste all the “forgive your parents,” “become a space tourist,”do a runner from a fancy restaurant” stuff
Haha that was amazingly written!
But the thing is, I’ve always really liked bucket lists. Even if all points are not for me, I still find something new or exciting every time I encounter one of those. I like sunrises too! Maybe not the congested ones, but there is something about getting up early to make an everyday occurrence special.
I guess it just takes all kinds to make a world :p
Thank you 🙂 The best of them give you good ideas and I guess we all have a kind of bucket list in our heads if not on paper. It’s doing stuff just because someone decides its a Must Do that I’m against.
Well, true that 🙂
Finalyyy.. i often feel angry when pople talk about my travel style. I prefer spending my weekend enjoying the hotel room instead of go to some “interested place you have to come”.
Lets ignoring the bucket list and just do what we wanna do. CHEERS!!
Yes I hate all that childish oneupmanship. Seems to me you should do what makes you happy, whether it’s exploring 7th century ruins or sitting by the pool drinking cocktails. It’s supposed to be fun after all. Plenty of time at work to do what you’re told.
Reblogged this on aanesii.
Thanks for sharing 🙂
I think experiences are supposed to be random. You can’t impose a bucket list onto yourself, even if it is yours. Rather the experiences should become the bucket list!
My best memories are a mixture of the totally unexpected and the pre-planned. I certainly think a lot of bucket lists are written after the event with the unofficial title “stuff I’ve done that you probably haven’t”
Beautifully written and really enjoyed reading this 🙂
Thank you 🙂 glad you liked it
I like it. Thank’s
Thanks
I think, most of us have their very own bucket list not just cut, copied or pasted from somewhere. Best thing that is evident from your experience is the realisation that you may not like what others like, you may not relish the things that others are so crazy about. Now that realization, that journey within is what I would like to call a real journey..real travel. Nice blog!!
Absolutely! And thank you 🙂
Nice
Thanks
I did enjoy this post. It is nice when people stand up to the ‘norm’. I think the bucket list thing has become a real industry and people no longer have any discernment also all those special places stop being special if everyone else is trying to cross them off their bucket list
Thanks and totally agree
Ha, love the Ibiza comment. Trust me, I don’t think you missed much. The Closing Parties strike me as akin to the Emperors New Clothes ~ everyone feeling as though they SHOULD rave about it (no pun intended) to justify the (even more than usual) ridiculous prices, long queues, dreadfully expensive drinks and badly bruised feet from lack of space.
Being in Ibiza and not bothering with the Closing Parties – now, that’s a feat and if Bucket Lists incorporated ‘Common Sense’, you’d have scored 😉
Thank you 😊 Glad you liked the post
Reblogged this on koutaso.
Thanks for sharing
Good post. Glad you slept in.
Haha. Thanks
I agree, these must-do lists, which seem innocent, do tend to work us up. you’ve resonated our feelings. Congratulations and thank you for this wonderful thought
I would rather choose one place, if I had to, go and immerse myself in all that it is and come away with satisfaction from the experience than to rush through a grocery list of adventures. However, I applaud the “notion” of a bucket list because it simply encourages us to get up and do while we can, before we can’t.
Its not reallt fun to do if its not what you want to do. What may seem as an achievement to one person may not be so to another . I love it 👏
I enjoyed this post a lot – even though I do have to admit that a non- negligible (maybe 30%?) fraction of my most cherished travel experiences are bucketlist-worthy type of things, like swimming with dolphins and well, seeing the sun rise over the Annapurna range. But then there are the 70% which would never make it on a published list – who would dare to recommend getting seriously lost, screaming in pain after riding on a horse so small that it doesn’t really seem to count as a horse, to find out the hard way that trains sell out fast in China or to always, always almost miss your flight?
Thank you 😊 I’m not against bucket list type stuff. I’ve mountain biked down the world’s most dangerous road and such like. It’s just the idea of a one size fits all list that you MUST work through that I’m not into
I liked this. I’ve often felt like people say “you must do x”, but then it’s talked up so much it ends up not meeting your expectations.
It is kind of a shame… there are moments where I’m in awe of what I saw or did, but explaining it to someone else, they don’t get it. It’s so personal to me, I have to accept that someone else might not find it interesting at all.
Totally agree. I was in Berlin recently and while its a great city so many people have gushed so much about it, I was a bit disappointed
Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed, very interesting post and amazing insights you have here, thank you for sharing those 🙂
Best regards,
Pedro Calado
Love the post and the comments here. For what its worth, here are my thoughts:-
As already mentioned by somebody, the whole ‘bucket list’ thing has become an industry in itself. Hsving said that, for me the ‘concept’ of a list of things to do and/or plsces to see is a great idea and very thought provoking. I’ve been lucky to have visited some great places, and worked in some not so great but interesting nonetheless places. I think ‘doing’ things, and travelling are two very individual and personal things anyway, and I gave my own bucket list in my head which I constantly update and revise. The published bucket lists that I have read dont strike me as particularly pushy or arrogant in terms of you ‘must’ do this or ‘must’ see that. I find that I can pick ideas out of most bucket lists and choose for myself which, if any, I want to follow.
Without following anybody else’s bucket list I have worked in 5 different countries (excluding my own), dived wirh s pod of 100 dolphins in the wild, been shot at (long story but still a favourite of my kids), dined with a Libyan family, managed a junior football team (more scary than being shor at sometimes), met Marilyn Monroe (sort of), seen Maradona in a supermarket (I kid you not) and many many more similar events which feature prominently when I occasionally reflect, but wouldnt make a publisher’s wish list for anothet bucket list book.
In summary, take from them what you want, and live your own!
Great post. I think i was starting to fall into that trap of bucket lists. I’ve been discussing possible next year trip destinations with my friends and feeling divided between I’ve been to Spain but really want to see more of it versus I’ve been to Europe and Asia and Africa but never been to the Americas. So going to another continent just to say I’ve been to all continents or to a country you really enjoyed and want more. I think it’s clearer now.
Wholeheartedly agree – bucket lists are for those who don’t really have a life and want to appear as if they do, by doing everything that someone else suggests as a ‘must’. We ‘travelled’ for a year; Angkor Wat, Thailand, Malaysia etc and we disliked most of it because of the hype surrounding everywhere and the people buying into it. grrr argh
That’s a shame. I had a great time in Southeast Asia. Like you I found some things didn’t measure up to the hype – including the Angkor Wat sunrise, of course – but other things were much better than expected. The same people who raved about the sunrise hated Phnom Penh and Saigon but I really liked both
I agree but just a little question! If you are in Peru , and you travelled all the way down there, then why not see Macchu Pichu? I don’t say you have to go to Peru to see Macchu Pichu but when you are there, you don’t feel the necessity to go there?
I saw Macchu Pichu – ar the end of the Inca Trail and again the next day, just didn’t fall for the get there at 4 In the morning to see the sunrise behind it thing again 🙂
Ow okay I understand
I love this! 🙂 🙂 🙂 I’ve been contemplating my own bucket list and trying to be inspired by those of others. But i always just do what i want to do in the moment & I’ve had many amazing adventures because of it. But I love this post! Do you own thing!!! It’s always best – for YOU! 🙂 🙂
Thank you and good for you
Reblogged this on Poetry By Impulse and commented:
Be true to yourself! 🙂
Thanks for sharing
I definitely agree that there is absolutely no point in following someone else’s bucket list, but I also think that everyone has some sort of ‘bucket list’, whether or not that is how they chose to define it. It’s just the dreams and goals that are personal to an individual that allows someone to have the motivation to work towards that dream job, or travel a certain route. As for travel, your post has made me certain that there is no need to compare my travel aspirations and experiences to others, because then I will be distorting my own view and I would rather avoid the risk of feeling negative about my own amazing (to me) experiences, whether ordinary or extraordinary 🙂
Totally agree.
Well written and homorous. You are a good storyteller.
Thanks a lot 🙂 Glad you liked the post
Loved the read.
thanks for this 🙂
So relatable. Love this post!
thank you 🙂
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Yes, I say custom design your own bucket list and then make “Design your own bucket list” one of the items on the list.
2 birds with one stone (maybe another item for the list?).
LOL. That’s an idea – a bucket list made up of old sayings: 1, kill two birds with one stone; 2, leave no stone unturned; 3, burn the candle at both ends; 4, get another string to your bow, etc 🙂
Awesome
Reblogged this on Girl undressed .
Thanks for sharing
Delightful